The Twelve Days of Inuyasha Week
by Hirate Ki
Summary: This is the Twleve Days of Christmas Inuyasha style. What more could I say? R&R. Flames will be used to make smores.


**Hirate: Welcome to, The Twelve Days of Inuyasha Week! I got inspired to write this when I read The Twelve Days of Fullmetal Alchemist Day. Now, my favorite Inuyasha character to co-host with me... Miroku!**

**Miroku: (walks onto stage, and grabs Hirate's hand) Would you kindly bear me a child.**

**Hirate: Not yet. I'm still in school! I can't drop out because of children. Any other questions?**

**Miroku: Why did you change your name from Tsuki Elric?**

**Hirate: It's simple. Hirate means palm and Ki means tree. I like Envy from FMA.**

**Miroku: Well, here's the story.**

**Disclaimer: I only own the holiday: The Twelve Days of Inuyasha Week. I know a week isn't twelve days, but that's all I could think of.**

* * *

_On the first day of Inuyasha Week my true love gave to me,_

_A cute, but very perverted monk!_

Miroku walks up to the narrator, "What am I doing here?

The narrator shrugs, "I guess my true love gave you to me? Want pizza?"

Miroku nodded, and they both went to get pizza.

_On the second day of Inuyasha Week my true love gave to me,_

_Two swords of the fang_

The narrator and Miroku walk into the random room holding pizza boxes when the Tetsusaiga and Tensaiga fall from the air and land in front of them.

Miroku looks at the ceiling, "Where the fuck did those come from?"

The narrator shrugs and opens the pizza boxes and started eating.

_And a perverted monk staring at the ceiling!_

_On the third day of Inuyasha Week my true love gave to me,_

_Three terrified bishies_

Sesshomaru, Inuyasha, and Koga appear out the air, and land on top of Miroku and his cheese pizzas.

The narrator sighs, and with her super narrator powers is able to get the three bishies off of Miroku, "Are they alright?"

Miroku grins at her, showing a few of his teeth had fallen out, "I'm fine."

The narrator glares at him, "I meant the pizzas, are they fine?"

Koga interrupt them, "Why are we terrified?"

Sesshomaru stands up, and grabs his Tensaiga, "Yes, why are we terrified?"

Inuyasha tries to grab some pizza, but is slapped by the narrator. She smiles at them evilly, "You'll see."

_Two swords of the fang _

The narrator gives some sausage pizza to Sesshomaru, and takes back the Tensaiga, "Mine now, at least until the story is over."

_And the perverted monk is looking for his teeth!_

Miroku scrambles around the flower looking for the teeth he lost. Inuyasha grins, and hides one of the teeth behind his back, thinking, 'He'll never find it now.'

_On the fourth day of Inuyasha Week my true love gave to me,_

_Four insane fangirls _

Inuyasha, Koga, and Sesshomaru run by with three of the fangirls chasing them. She yelled after them, "See why you're terrified now?" She freezes for awhile, "Where's that other fangirl, Jeanee I think her name is." (Hirate: Hikari, you should know where she is.)

_Three terrified bishies _

The narrator drops her pizza when she hears a scream and a familiar giggle., "I think my cousin caught Sesshomaru already."

_Two swords of the fang,_

The narrator sighs, "I'm bored."

_And a cute, but has less teeth, monk!_

Miroku is continuing his search for his teeth when he all of a sudden feels someone rubbing his but. He freezes out of terror when he hears a giggle, and talking, "Would you want to father my children?"

He screams like a little girl when he sees the fourth, and most feared of the fangirls. Jeanee smiled at him, "You're so cute."

Miroku stood up, and started running even faster then Koga. Jeanee turns to the narrator, "Why'd he run?"

The narrator shrugs, "I have no clue. Hey, want some pizza!"

Jeanee took some pizza, "Okay."

_On the fifth day of Inuyasha week mu true love gave to me,_

_Five Sacred Jewel Shards_

The jewel shard land onto the pizza, and the narrator ate them. Jeanee notices this first, "Hirate, you just ate the jewel shards."

The narrator jumps up, and starts dancing, "Now I really have super narrator powers!"

_Four insane fangirls _

Inuyasha, who was able to get away from Hikari, stared at Sesshomaru being tied to a wall by Tsuki, the narrators cousin. Sesshomaru looked at Inuyasha with a terrified look, "Inuyasha, please rescue me from this crazy girl, she told me she's going to rape me when everyone's gone."

Inuyasha just laughed, "Are you kidding, this is to funny! I'd rather be caught by Hikari."

Tsuki turned around, "That can be arranged." She cupped her hands around her mouth, "Hikari, Inu is over here."

"Shit!", was all he could say before Hikari pounced one him.

_Three terrified bishies _

Jeanee smiled, "Four now, Miroku joined them."

The narrator pointed at her, "Shut the fuck up our I'll use my powers to kill you."

"Make me!"

They started fighting.

_Two swords of the fang _

The two swords lay forgotten next to the pizza boxes.

_And the monk looks like he's going to die from exhaustion! _

Miroku lays on the ground panting from his running, "... need... water..."

_One the sixth day of Inuyasha week my true love gave to me,_

_Six incarnations of Naraku_

Kanna, Kagura, Goshinki, Kageromaru, Juromaru, and Musou appear next to the pizzas.

Kagura looks at the narrator and Jeanee fighting, "Who the hell... oh, pizza."

They all eat the pizzas.

_Five sacred jewel shards_

Tsuki, one of the fangirls, smiled, "I'll take over narrating until my cousin is done fighting with Jeanee."

Sesshomaru screamed in pure terror, not even trying to hide his emotions like he usually does.

_Four insane fangirls_

Rose, the Koga fangirl, walked around, "Kogi, where are you? Don't worry, when I find you I'm only going to rape you."

Hikari giggled while twitching Inuyasha's ears, "Awww, so fluffy."

Tsuki sat playing with the two swords.

And Jeanee was busy fighting with the narrator, "Bitch!"

_Three terrified bishies _

Koga sat next to Miroku, having found a place where the fangirl would never find him. He poked the tired monk, "Hey, are you alive?

Miroku gasped, "Water."

Inuyasha was now tied to the wall next to Sesshomaru. He looked over at his brother, "Why do fangirls always carry ropes with them."

Sesshomaru shrugged as Tsuki had to hand feed him some of the pizza.

_Two swords of the fang _

Jeanee and the narrator stopped fighting, and agreed to working together to find their beloved Miroku.

_And the monk may die if he doesn't get water!_

Koga poked Miroku again, who continued gasping for water.

_On the seventh day of Inuyasha Week my true love gave to me_

_Seven undead men_

Bankotsu, Jakotsu, Ginkotsu, Kyokotsu, Renkotsu, Suikotsu, and Mukotsu appear next to Kagura and the others.

Kagura handed Bankotsu some pizza, "Want some?"

Bankotsu took the pizza, and they all started eating the pizza. (Tsuki: I'm running out of creative thoughts.)

_Six incarnations of Naraku_

Their all running out of pizza.

_Five consumed sacred jewel shards_

The narrator floated around looking for Miroku, while Jeanee was just walking. The most feared fangirl glared at her new friend, "Do you have to float like that?"

The narrator sighed, "Yeah, for some reason I just started floating and don't know how to get back to the ground."

"Oh"

_Four insane fangirls_

Koga shook his head, "One went away. I only had to kiss her and she went away."

The narrator, who had just floated next to him, glared at him, "Do you want me to kill you with my new powers?"

"No."

"Good."

_Three terrified bishies_

"Only two"

"SHUT UP, KOGA!"

_Two swords of the fang_

Jakotsu had sneaked away from the rest, and grabbed the Tetsusaiga, "Now I have something that belongs to me precious Inuyasha. And for some reason the little barrier that usually protects it is gone." he put it in his kimono and went back to the others.

_And Jeanee is giving the monk some water_!

_On the eighth day of Inuyasha Week my true love gave to me,_

_Eight leafs of the sacred tree_

Jeanee stares at the narrator, "Eight leaves?"

The narrator smiled innocently, "I'm running out of ideas."

"Oh." Jeanee hugs Miroku.

Miroku starts gasping for air.

_Seven undead men_

They all ate all the pizza, so went to sleep.

_Six incarnations of Naraku_

They said something about being bored, and also went to sleep.

_Five consumed sacred jewel shards_

The narrator was glaring at Koga when all of a sudden lasers came out her eyes. She looked from Koga who was running around with his tail on fire, to Jeanee who was hugging Miroku, "I didn't do it."

_Four insane fangirls_

Hikari and Tsuki were both petting Sesshomaru and Inuyasha. They were both screaming, thinking that the fangirls were going to rape them.

Jeanee continued hugging Miroku.

_Three terrified bishies_

_Two swords of the fang_

Tsuki looked at the Tensaiga, "OMG, the Tetsusaiga is missing!"

Hikari looked around, "Let's say that some birds stole it."

"Okay." And they continued petting their bishies.

_And the monk can't breath_!

Miroku continued trying to wiggle out of Jeanee's grip

_One the ninth day of Inuyasha Week my true love gave to me,_

_Nine prayer beads_

The narrator watched Koga running around, eating popcorn. Then the prayer beads all fell around his neck. She smiled evilly, and yelled, "Down boy."

Koga fell flat on his face like Inuyasha, and the narrator broke out laughing.

_Eight leaves of the sacred tree_

Inuyasha stopped screaming, and looked at Sesshomaru, "What kind of person gives their true love leaves?"

Sesshomaru also stopped screaming, "Someone who deserves getting dumped, and fast."

Tsuki nodded, "Sesshomaru here is right. If my love gave me useless leaves I'd shove them in his face, and dump his sorry ass right away."

_Seven undead men_

Snoring.

_Six incarnations of Naraku_

Even more snoring.

_Five consumed jewel shards_

The narrator grabbed her stomach, "Oh, I don't feel so good. I have to go to the bathroom." She rushed away leaving Jeanee alone with Miroku.

The fangirl let go of Miroku, and sighed, "I didn't need to know that."

_Four insane fangirls_

Koga jumped up from the ground and laughed, "Only three."

"No, four. The narrator is now included as one." Jeanee replied to Koga.

"Leave me alone!" Koga said before going to a corner to cry about being wrong.

_Three terrified bishies_

The narrator walked out the bathroom. She looked at the ground, "I think the jewel shards are all out of me."

Everyone, but the incarnations and band of seven, stared at her, "We didn't need to know that!"

_Two swords of the fang_

Tsuki sighed, "My cousin will kill me if I tell her one of them is missing."

Hikari twitched Inu's ears, "No, I saw Jakotsu taking it. He's sleeping, so you could take it from him."

Tsuki eyes went wide, "I ain't goin' near any killers. Hirate will have to get it herself."

_And the monk is now making out with my cousin's friend!_

The narrator walked away from Jeanee and Miroku, "I feel so alone."

_On the tenth day of Inuyasha Week my true love gave to me,_

_Ten demon slayers_

Ten demon slayers including Sango and Kohaku walked into the crazy room.

Sango looked at Miroku making out with Jeanee and cried.

The narrator went over to her and patted her back, "It's okay, I know how you feel."

Sango looked at her, "But, he said he loved me."

The narrator gave poor Sango a tissue, and they both went to were Koga was and started crying together.

_Nine prayer beads_

Koga was crying just a moment ago, but seeing his new enemy crying made him happy. He grabbed some popcorn from thin air, and laughed, "What's wrong, did the monk dump you two."

The narrator sniffed, then yelled, "DOWN BOY!"

Koga fell flat on his face again, making Sango and the narrator happy.

_Eight leaves of the sacred tree_

The narrator started using the leaved as tissues, because she ran out, "I guess these are good for something."

_Seven undead men_

The snoring continued.

_Six incarnations of Naraku_

"Should someone wake them up?"

"No, Tsuki. I'd only wake up Naraku."

_Five not consumed sacred jewel shards_

Inuyasha frowned, "I ain't getting those shards no matter what anyone tells me."

Sesshomaru grinned, "What if I said that they were the only one's you didn't have?"

"Nope, that wouldn't work."

_Four insane fangirls_

Tsuki decided getting killed by her cousin was worst then getting killed by a gay guy and went to go get the Tetsusaiga from him.

Hikari went to go get some more pizza, leaving Sesshomaru and Inuyasha strapped to the wall.

Jeanee was busy making babies for Miroku.

Rose had been gone for at least half the story.

_Three terrified bishies_

Inuyasha shook his head, "I don't think any of us are terrified anymore."

Sesshomaru snorted "The half demon actually said something smart."

Inuyasha squirmed around, "I dare yeh to say that to my face."

"I would, but you're ugliness might kill me."

Koga, who had joined them after Hikari left, laughed, "Good one, Fluffy."

"I am not Fluffy!"

_Two fangs of the sword_

Tsuki put the Tetsusaiga back with the Tensaiga, and went back to her precious Fluffykins. She had heard Koga's remark about Sesshomaru being Fluffy, and smiled at him, "You're right Koga. Sesshomaru is Fluffy, because of this cute fluffy boa his wears."

Koga blushed, then grinned at Inuyasha, "See, I can be smart too."

"Feh, this was only a lucky break, Don't let it go to you're empty head."

_And the monk is about to face my wrath!_

The narrator pushed Wrath from Fullmetal Alchemist to where Jeanee and Miroku were, "Go get him, Wrath."

Wrath blinked, and looked around, "Oh, wrong show." He disappeared.

_On the eleventh day of Inuyasha Week my true love gave to me,_

_Eleven bags of ramen_

Hikari came back holding tons of pizzas and ramen noodles, "I was coming back with the pizzas when these fell on my head. I knew me and Inuyasha would want them, so I picked them up. The ramen are for me and Inu, and the pizza for everyone else."

_Ten demon slayers_

The narrator had to use her super narrator powers to make a barrier around them to keep them from killing any of the demons. And Sango from killing Miroku or Jeanee.

_Nine prayer beads_

Koga was able to get eight of the nine prayer beads off, but couldn't get the last one off. He sighed in defeat and ate some pizza.

_Eight discarded leaves of the sacred tree_

The crumbled up, and wet, leaves just sat in the corner.

_Seven undead men_

Besides the fact that Bankotsu had peed in his sleep, nothing interesting was happening here.

_Six incarnations of Naraku_

Even more boring then the previous group

_Five no longer consumed jewel shards_

They also just lay in the sewers, out of the room and out of the narrator's stomach.

_Four insane fangirls_

Two of them were eating with their bishies and Koga, one of them was busy with their bishie, and the other was now watching T.V. at home.

_Three terrified bishies_

They were eating right now.

_Two swords of the fang_

Somehow Jakotsu was able to tell the Tetsusaiga was no longer with him, and woke up. He looked at Bankotsu's wet pants, then went to go get the sword again. He made sure that noone was watching this time, and took the sword again. Then he went back to the others, and slept as if nothing had ever happened.

_And the monk is finally done with Jeanee, and shall die!_

The narrator let down the barrier that was holding back Sango, and they both charged after Miroku. The monk didn't have time to dress, so he just ran away naked.

_On the twelfth day of Inuyasha Week my true love gave to me,_

_Twelve Inuyasha DVDS_

The narrator was too busy trying to kill Miroku to even care about the DVDS, so Tsuki grabbed them, "Look, Sesshy, I have more Inuyasha DVDS."

Sesshomaru looked at them, and sighed, "Good for you." He said sarcastically.

_Eleven bags of ramen_

Hikari burped, and patted her stomach, "More like, eleven empty bags of ramen."

_Ten demon slayers_

Nine of them were still in the barrier. It was all fine until Kohaku spoke, "I have to go the bathroom."

_Nine prayer beads_

Koga still tried to get the last one off.

_Eight discarded leaves of the sacred tree_

Still out of mind.

_Seven undead men_

They all woke up, and left. Jakotsu was smiling all the way out the room.

_Six incarnations of Naraku_

They didn't even have to wake up, they just disappeared

_Five consumed sacred jewel shards_

Rats ended up eating them.

_Four insane fangirls_

Miroku ran by so the fangirls and the bishies covered their eyes.

_Three terrified bishies_

Sango had given up trying to kill Miroku, but the narrator wasn't. The distance between the naked monk and the crazed fangirl was becoming smaller and smaller until...

_Two swords of the fang_

Tsuki uncovered her eyes, and saw Tetsusaiga was missing again. She poked Hikari, "The Tetsusaiga of missing again. What do we do?"

Hikari uncovered her eyes too, and replied, "Let's run before Hirate notices."

So they both sneaked away, leaving Sesshomaru and Inuyasha tied to the wall.

"... Sesshomaru, do yeh think they'll be back?"

" I doubt it."

_And a very cute, but dead monk!_

The narrator grinned, "I'll use human alchemy to bring him back later."

* * *

When all the pizza was gone everyone left the room. The narrator had used the Tensaiga to bring back Miroku before leaving, and the room was now empty... kinda.

Inuyasha looked around in the empty room, still tied to the wall, "Great, now we're stuck to this wall, and it's all your fault."

Sesshomaru, who had given up trying to hide his emotions along time ago, snorted, "How the fuck is this my fault?"

Inuyasha couldn't think of anything, so shut up. Because they would have to get used to each others company until next year.

* * *

**Hirate: What do you think?**

**Miroku: 0.0, I died.**

**Hirate: Good for you, now please review. This took me three days to type. Flames will be used to make smores.**


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